.Amber.

‎.Amber.

Something wonderful has happened,

a new joy came into my life,

My best friend came over,

I squeezed her ever so tight.

I've missed her presence for a year almost.

Now that she's back, 

I'm afraid I can't cope.

She looks so different,

Lord knows that's the truth.

Black hair, tight clothes,

bigger butt and boobs.

That's not the girl I used to know. 

She pulled up in a car!

She's been driving by a year alone.

I'm so overwhelmed,

I don't know what to say.

She makes things better.

Her presence scares the feeling away.

She fills my awkward silence

with a gentle hug.

She holds on very tightly.

I can feel her love.

We spent 10 tender moments.

Talking with each other.

Then she's ripped away again,

needed home by her mother.

One thing is fairly odd.

We have the exact same job.

Same company, same clothing.

Same cheesy line "Thanks for calling Papa John's"

It's because we are sisters.

I know her inside and out.

Our reunion is so beautiful.

I can't stand to let her out.

But I know this it the first 

of many wonderful times.

We will spend together.

Her heart is practically mine

I love you Amber Starr.

You know that this is true.

And I just wanted to say welcome back,

Thanks, and I love you!

-to starr

© Butteryevil 2003

.a place to call my own.

.a place to call my own.

Current mood: excited

.a place to call my own.

in 13 more days, 

i'll have a place to call my own.

no more crazy roommates; 

a space to call home. 

no blatant disrespect

or nosey ass kids.

my things wont get broken,

my privacy will remain hid.

I've experienced a lot,

in my 25 short years.

A whole lot of life,

has left me in tears.

But now I'm ready to grow,

I'm a big girl now!

Taking responsibility for my actions,

knocking my problems & bills out with a POW!

I'm ready for my own space,

a place to call my own.

To leave what's dead behind me,

and venture into the world of the unknown.

to have over whoever I want,

at any hour that I please.

without any guilt or regret

when I do some crazy shopping sprees.

Free beer & pizza on the weekends?

You know it's about to be the spot!

Studying, working and partying, 

the only few responsibilities I've got.

Who's gonna have a snazzy pad?

All decked out from Ikea?

This sexy chick that's layin' it down,

This girl right over here!

truestory,truestory.

©Butteryevil 2012

.the.abused.

‎.the.abused.

this evening...i turned on the news,

and there was a story about the abused..

on how they'd been used,

then yelled at and left bruised.

no one saw the signs,

that were hidden behind cold sadden eyes.

maybe she'd still be alive,

if she'd have stopped saying "I'm doing just fine". 

she's been mistreated,

straight beaten

at different points, he'd cheated..

and left her straight heated

he'd been on the down-low..

figured that no one needed to know.

when she'd bring up the deceit...

it was her face he would beat. 

abuse led to her being raped..

but first she had to be duct taped.

beaten across the head..

then he left her for dead.

if only she'd have outreached..

learned a lesson or two 

that her mother tried to teach.

if only she'd turned on the news

or had some resources to use.

©Butteryevil 2012

http://www.thehotline.org/

.why she bleeds.

‎.why she bleeds.

why does she bleed?

she bleeds to breed

she bleeds to receive the seed 

to replenish the Earth's needs.

she bleeds to conceive 

like the fruit that bares from trees

to carry heaven's gifts

as cool as a fresh light breeze.

so the next time you think

why does she bleed?

remind yourself there could be no you or i

without months such as these.

©Butteryevil 2012

.restless.

ZEN IS WHAT I NEED

QUIET RESTFUL PEACEFUL SLEEP

STRAINING NOT TO WEEP

TIRED EYES WITH BAGS RETREAT

SHE CONTINUES COUNTING SHEEP

.asphyxiation.

.asphyxiation.

.my.cinquain.

asphyxiation

choking me

lack of air

my ode to thee

struggle

stop

no breath

force too strong

the dizzy spell begins

wheeze

pain 

lightheadedness ensues

stars surround me

my head is pounding

darkness

waking

light breaking

where am i

what happened here tonight

dope

hope 

now clean

can now breath

where i need to be

free

©Butteryevil 2012

.insecurities.

Current mood: thoughtful

.insecurites.

your insecurities are overwhelming me..
you're overwhelming me with your insecurities..

its like you're crying out to me
with your negativity..

if only you were as free...
with some positivity.

make some changes; stop complainin'
stop complainin'; make some changes.

be the change you want to see..
see the change you want to be.

the world is your instrument,
play it like a drum.

the more energy you give it,
the more your song is sung.

your life is your canvas,
paint it as you see fit.

you don't want to meet your end
like "man I didn't become shyt"

stop complainin'; make some changes
make some changes, stop complain'

if only you were as free...
with some positivity.

it's like you're crying out to me
with your negativity..

you're overwhelming me with your insecurities...
your insecurities, unleashed will set you free.